I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
