If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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