ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
