I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
