We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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