Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
