If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
