One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
