You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
