I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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