But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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