woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
