im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
