I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
