Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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