He had one of those small greek statue penises
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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