I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
