just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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