Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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