The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
