You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
