opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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