If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
