My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
