Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
