His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize