were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
