does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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