I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
