your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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