Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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