I've blown a few things in my day
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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