Sponge bath it is.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
