Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
