Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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