He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
