I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
