My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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