I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Text me some of your sweat
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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