Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
