I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
