i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
