i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
