go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
