we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
