We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
