Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
