So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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