Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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