She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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