There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
