Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
