You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize