I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
