ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize