i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
