she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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