He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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