It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
