remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
