if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
