it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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