How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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