They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
