i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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