So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
