Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Randomize
