Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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