2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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