You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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