What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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